Best Horror Movie Deaths

July 24, 2017 Featured, List Comments (0) 39

Wrong Turn 4

I’ve mentioned this movie here so I will not belabor it further. How can you not enjoy someone being tied down to watch chunks of their own flesh being removed and fried in hot grease?

Hatchet

The first two to go are fantastic. There’s just something about somebody having their head ripped apart by the jaws and being chopped in half lengthwise.

Cannibal Holocaust

This provides a nice sense of vengeance. Clearly visible is the guy’s faceless head laying severed on the ground, unfortunately not shown is his genitals being cut off using a sharp piece of rock. He and two other guys raped one of the tribe’s young ladies, so this feels good to watch.

House of 1000 Corpses

Though the death itself is not pictured, whatever Otis does to this poor fool to turn him into Fishboy is so random and fucked up it is worth a mention. Seriously, Otis, what the fuck?

Quarantine

One of the freakier deaths in this movie, simply because of the filming. It is impossible to get a good, clear look at Zombiegirl as she keeps lunging directly at the camera, but the fact that she is attacking the lens itself gives this a horrifying POV quality. I suggest watching frame by frame.

Black Sheep

Not the one with Chris Farley and David Spade. Watch zombie sheep descend upon an assembled crowd and tear them to pieces.

Idle Hands

Maybe not a straight up horror movie, but watching Dexter Holland of The Offspring getting the top of his head ripped off never gets old.

Piranha 3D

Spring break on a popular lake, add some ferocious prehistoric fish with a vicious appetite. Watching this in the theater was quite overwhelming. Though the clip doesn’t show it in its entirety, there is nearly ten solid minutes of carnage without cutting to another scene.

Saw II

Possibly my favorite installment in the series, I love the way this one starts. Could you dig out your eye to get a lifesaving key? Pretty sure I could not.

Psycho

Forget the shower, when Arbogast the private detective finally goes upstairs to meet Mother, the suspense just makes it worse when she comes charging out of the door with no preamble.

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7 Horror Movies You’re Stupid to Keep Ignoring

June 15, 2017 List, Reviews Comments (0) 57

Antichrist

If you like Willem Dafoe you’ll certainly be interested in this one. It’s a cheery look at a relationship between a man and his wife deteriorating after their fucking distracted them from their child dying. Also featured: a body double standing in for Dafoe’s balls, and a very hungry fox.

Braindead

One of the first movies directed by Peter Jackson(of Hobbit and Lord of the Rings fame). Scary little monkey transmits zombie virus to unsuspecting fellow’s crotchety old bag of a mother. Shades of Norman Bates as he attempts to woo a girl and conceal his growing zombie family from the world. Only strong stomachs need apply.

Wrong Turn 4

The perfect film to watch while eating fondue. One of a series known for insane amounts of gore and torture, this sequel delivers admirably. Cannibals take over an asylum and eventually are visited by snowbound snowmobilers. Fortunately there’s plenty for them(the cannibals) to eat as the storm rages on. I will say again: fondue.

Frozen

Before Disney ever let it go to the drawing board, Frozen was a truly disturbing bit of cinema, featuring for an all to brief momentĀ  the immortal Kane Hodder out of his Jason mask. Have you ever wondered what would happen to you if you got stuck on a chairlift 50 feet above hard packed snow for an entire weekend on a mountainside? Somebody wondered so much that they made a movie. Watch this one by yourself and put yourself in their shoes. An intermission may be required to steady shaking hands.

Hostel 2

I generally regard Eli Roth films as trash, and his first Hostel was mostly no exception. His second is a redeeming breath of fresh air, with over half the movie setting up the gory bits before any seriously nasty shit happens. A surprise ending as well never goes amiss, as well as a scene set in a place with such beautiful blue water I wish I were there now.

Quarantine

I’m not a fan of found-footage films as a general rule, but when I first watched this I didn’t even noticeĀ  that it fit into the genre until over halfway through. A zombie outbreak causes an apartment building to be sealed off with varying degrees of the infected locked inside with the as-yet unharmed. A camera crew which just happened to be following a 911 response to the address records things going from bad, to worse, to blackness.

Human Centipede 2

This is something you should only watch if you are in a very dark mood, locked in the depths of yourself and in the state of mind where the only thing which sounds good is suffering. Shot in lovely black and white(except for one scene which uses brown to great effect) the fourth wall is knocked askew as someone is inspired by the first Human Centipede movie to create his own to fulfill his disturbing fantasies. Those among us who have ever indulged in a shameful habit we will take to the grave will identify with parts of this film as well as watching its brutality with blank eyes.

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